Last time we talked about the definition of courtship and how dating is mostly for learning personality and courtship is about learning beliefs.
Today we’re going to talk about something that you may not believe but I firmly believe in. Ready for this?
Courtship Causes a Spiritual Crisis
What do I mean by this? I mean that courtship should be pushing you to make increasingly difficult spiritual decisions. Since we defined courtship as an intention for marriage, then it follows then that God would have us be sure that we are marrying the right person.
The Myth of the “One”
I always get flack for this one, but I don’t believe that I am Adam and I have an Eve out there…I just don’t. I believe too much in faith and free will to buy into any doctrine that says that God has one specific person planned for you. If you wish to believe so, I will not persecute you at all, but I simply cannot believe it.
So, what are we looking for then? We are looking for the wisest choice of a spouse. If we are walking in wisdom and discernment, then we will be looking for the person who best fits us. Now, I am not saying you should settle for anyone; I am saying that if you are too picky you may get no one. So, if you are courting someone, God should already be constantly advising you on whether or not you are a good match. This should lead to you choosing Christ over the relationship.
The Test
I have heard of many couples who engaged in major spiritual “test” before they decided to be engaged. I can think of one in particular who moved away for a year and did not speak to each other the whole time. I know of several who have gone through an extended period of fasting and prayer. There have been some couples who will break up and actually try to date someone else before committing. I am a big believer in God’s providence and guidance and I believe that if you are willing to “test him” that he will show you his will.
Eliminating Yourself
At this point, your partner should have revealed how much of a selfish person you are. Since we are Western and American, we all have cultural selfishness to put on top of our own innate selfishness. If you are going to marry someone you are going to lose your self…you will literally, spiritually, and emotionally fuse with the other person. Your desires should be theirs and vice versa. In order to do this though, you have to die to yourself. This means that you are going to have to confront a lot of selfish habits that you have. Be willing to be Christ or don’t you dare get engaged.
A spiritual crisis is not a bad thing; it is an opportunity to see God move! Wouldn’t you rather hear from God than to marry the wrong person. Wouldn’t it be exciting to be so close to the heart of Jesus Christ that you know your Father’s will? Sometimes we enter these relationships just long enough for God to teach us both lessons that we need to learn about ourselves and about what he wants for us.
Are we willing to listen to his voice and do what he says?
Even if that means our relationship is over?
Grace and Peace
To Be Continued- Next Time: When Is It Time to Pop “the Question”?
Shouldn’t be this way? If you want a Christ-honoring, God ordained marriage shouldn’t you have to go through a spiritual crisis or two?
Filed under: What's Love Got to Do With It?
